My anxiety is (quite obviously) out of hand. I sometimes don't feel interested in engaging with my son, and also have a hard time connecting to him when my anxiety gets really bad. I have a pretty short fuse most of the time, and almost anything can set me off. I feel guilty for wanting to take breaks from my son.
In short, I feel like a bad mom.
But on the other hand, I have great days too and sometimes think that it's just the exhaustion of being a single parent, coupled with the anxiety that I've had my entire life.
Either way, I'm uninsured so I'm feeling kinda screwed. Living off my savings right now makes it worse, because any money I might spend at a clinic is money that should be going towards baby stuff.
GOD THIS POST IS EVEN BORING ME.
Anyways, that's where I am, and why I'm not big on the blog-o-sphere right now. I'm doing what I can to deal with it, and for now I'm just kinda hoping it passes. I just have to tell myself to enjoy every second I have with my son, because time is really flying by and he'll be pushing me away soon enough. And in all honesty, he's the most amazing person in the world to me, and I love him more than I ever thought possible...and since those two statements are true, then it's also true that it's worth every bit of effort I have.
This little monster is the most precious thing in the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment