This post is a bitch-fest. If you don't like that, stop reading now.
The Boy has always been a difficult baby at night. Generally not gonna sleep more than 1-2.5hrs at a time. But for a few glorious days last week, he slept through the night. I thought that meant there was a light at the end....I thought it meant something in his sleep pattern was changing for good.
But we're back to being up consistently 4-6 times during the night. If your kid does this, I'm willing to bet you know what I mean when I say it pisses me off. Like, I have to set him down and punch the bed/scream into a pillow/cry every few nights. It's normal for us, and I think that I'm entitled to being a little crazy since my son has had only 6 good nights in his three month life (by good, I mean 5hrs or more straight). Add in the fact that I'm single and have not ever had someone help in the middle of the night, and you've got THE CRANKIEST mommy ever.
Luckily, every 2-4 weeks or so, my mom will watch him for a few hours so I can take a nap. It has been three weeks since this has happened, so I could really use a little help right now. But unfortunately, she's sick and there is probably no end in sight.
But for all the moms out there who know how it feels to wake up and feed EVERY hour...who wake up after only a few minutes of dozing, terrified thinking they have fallen asleep holding the baby (because God knows you're too tired to remember when/how you got up to put them down)...all you moms who know that you sometimes have to talk yourself out of being upset with a baby, who couldn't possibly be at fault...
You are SO not alone.
If any other single moms out there know what it's like to only have one "mommy break" in a three month period, and be solely responsible for an infant 24/7, know that I commend you. This job does not stop for a single moment.
Thank God for our little ones, making it worth it every day.
Here's a picture of our nigh time adventures. Say "hi"!
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