I don't have any career goals or aspirations.
*sits back and waits for flames and snide remarks*
No, I'm serious. I will need to work, because I need to support my son...so I will have to find a career that...while I likely won't be passionate about it or love it..won't make me want to shoot myself in the face every day.
When I was younger, I was always told "don't get married until you finish college" or "don't settle down before establishing your career first" or "having kids makes it hard to advance your career or go to school."
There was always such emphasis put on how important it was to go to school and make a living for yourself...like what you do is who you are. Like your career is your life.
Tell anyone that you don't want a career these days, and you hear crickets. When in high school, you would hear a waver in the voice of so many girls when they said "well, after I finish this, I want to get married" or "yeah, I want kids...someday".
I was one of those girls. When I said those things, I wanted to cry. Something inside of me was whispering "liar" and I pushed it down. The truth is, there are so many of us who are so SCARED to say "I want a husband/partner and a family."
People look at you like you have grown a third arm.
Where did the Woman's Movement go wrong? We fought so hard for this, for the ability to work and be equal. Now, we have all of this societal pressure to actually BE like a man. Get an Education. Build your own life, support yourself. Be more adventurous sexually. Some women thrive in this lifestyle. The rest of us...we sit and wonder what is wrong with us. We don't even admit to each other that we might want a family first.
Our worth is associated with where we got our degree, what we do, how much we make...and those who do stay home are seen as 'less than'. And that just seems so wrong to me.
What's worse? We did it to ourselves. I just look around and wonder...how did we end up here? I'm willing to bet this was not what was intended when this all began.
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FWIW, I think parenthood is a career. It takes up all of you time, all of your effort and anyone who takes on the challenge and does their best to be the best parent they can be should be able to hold thier head up high. You are a strong woman and just because you don't aspire for a "regular" career path doesnt mean that what you do everyday isn't important.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that, thank you.
ReplyDeleteAs for myself, I have put myself in a position where a career is a necessity, and I am happy to accept that responsibility. I just wish putting family first was an option for more people.