You see, people...I live with my mom. I do this, because I am an irresponsible person who goes out and gets impregnated by idiot douchebags who do not want to be with me. Or something to that effect. And before you ask, yes I am disappointed in myself, and not proud of my decisions. But that is a whole separate post.
Now, because I live with my mom, I'm subjected to a whole lot more parenting than I would imagine the average grown person with a child is accustomed to. I understand that this comes with the territory. Being aloud to stay home with my son and potentially go back to school, without having to worry about rent/daycare/whatever, is a luxury that is not afforded to many, so I will try my best not to complain much.
The truth is, becoming a mother has given me a vast appreciation for my own mother, and the sacrifices she has made for me and my siblings. I often sit back and think about how wonderful and supportive she is, and can not for the life of me understand just HOW she did it all. She is amazing to me.
But living with her as a new mom leaves various openings for her to tell me how she would be "doing things differently." C'mon, he's two months old...it's not as if I'm teaching him to lie and steal. Because she's around for a lot of my parenting adventures, she gets to tell me that I'm not sleeping enough because I really need to learn to sleep with my baby, and sleep while breastfeeding, etc.
Excuse me for having a rational fear of sharing my bed with my baby, even with as much as I would like to be able to do this.
After being told repeatedly that I should "just ignore him" or "let him cry for a few minutes", I start to wonder what else she did with me or her FIVE other children that I don't approve of. Tummy sleeping is one of the things I refuse to let him do (until I can't keep him from rolling). We've already covered how I'm a neurotic, paranoid freak, so is it really a huge surprise that I don't want to do something with such blatant disregard for the fact that it's a SIDS risk? Nah, not so much.
Being a SAHM, and also a house"wife" to my own mother comes with an extra side of judgment. And while I count my blessings every single day for having her, and being able to live this fabulous life...I think maybe someday I might want a real husband who does not tell me that I am parenting the wrong way. Because this:
is the face of a child who's mother does not "just ignore him" or "let him cry." And I happen to like that face quite a bit.
Adorable pic, super-cute to the extreme.
ReplyDeleteYou sound just like my mother when I was much younger. When I was little, my Grandmother would come and stay with my mom (she was also a single mom) for a few months out of the year. My Gram would always be telling my mother not to worry so much, try doing this instead, etc. I was/am my mom's only child, while my Grandmother had 12 kids before being widowed and becoming a single mom herself... sooo, she DID have plenty of motherhood experience (as I know your mom does;) My mom used to rebel against this unwanted advice, but I know in the long run she was very thankful for the help and support.
As far as "mom" husband vs. "real" husband... Being a guy, I can say with a fair amount of confidence that although a "real" husband might provide plenty of emotional support, there would be a whole lot of times where he would be pretty damn clueless. So hang tough, count your blessings, don't freak out, and keep the posts coming!
It's so hard to really take advice as a new mother. You just want to do it your way, and be super mom from day 1. All advice is good advice though, if coming from someone with the best intentions. Luckily we can pick and choose to find what works for us.
ReplyDeleteI think with the real husband, even if he's clueless he's a partner. Having someone who is there to help and support, not dictate and judge, sounds highly appealing.
Thanks for commenting.