AS PICTURED HERE, TORTURING AN INNOCENT VICTIMBeing one trendy SOB, I have begun doing the 30 Day Shred...as many of the previously pregnant, currently fat women of the internet have before me. I can not help it, I am drawn to the wonderful dyke-tastic, ass kicking mess that is Jillian. You know you can't help it either. She is sexy in a butterface kinda way.
Any-who, the point here is that she wants to kill me. Me, and many others. This is the most divine murder plot in the history of murder plots. She is going to make us kill OURSELVES!
My skinny jeans are a dream to me now, and muffin-top my cruel reality. You all know what I'm talking about, don't lie. For twelve days I pushed through Level 1 of the workout. The first day, I was convinced that I would be on Level 1 for the entire 30 days. But today I soldiered on to Level 2. Not happily, guys...I had previewed it, and knew full well that this was complete murder-suicide. But when it comes to working out, I am mildly..okay, extremely obsessive. It is dangerous.
I am going to have to be honest..I have not lost a single pound. Not one. My diet is pretty great. Thanks to an eating disorder acquired in seventh grade, I am very aware of what I eat. Annnnd thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding, I eat often. I've got all the tools for success here, so what gives?
Despite the growing rage I feel when stepping on the scale, I can deal. I may be 13lbs heavier than before pregnancy, but I am not at a bad weight. I will keep plugging away, because I can't do anything else. But I will talk back to my TV, like any other powerless victim of Jillian's cruelty.
To all the other 30DS ladies out there...push it out.
No comments:
Post a Comment