5 Months Old

I can't believe it has been five months.
In some ways, it feels like I just gave birth to this beautiful baby.
On the other hand, I feel like I have had him and loved him forever. The thought of life without him just doesn't make any sense.

We have been so happy. Things feel like they're finally making sense. Even though he has been refusing naps, and wanting to sleep with me (and screaming his head off when I put him in the crib), I don't think life could get any better.

Every day has been a new adventure. I love taking him out, and he loves to be out of the house.

He's so serious, and I spend so much time trying to get those elusive giggles out of him. When other people laugh, he gets the most serious look on his face, like he's genuinely concerned that something is wrong with us.

If you sing "love story" by Taylor Swift, he is all smiles.

My baby,
Life doesn't always go the way it should. My life before you was a mess of confusion, bad decisions and insecurities. But these past five months with you have shown me what happiness feels like. Loving you has given me every reason to turn my life around, and make sure that your childhood is as happy and care-free as I can possibly make it. You are such a joy to have in my life, and seeing your smile makes me feel like the luckiest mother in the world.

At this point in time, you're entirely dependent on me. You need me more than anything else in the world right now, and that sort of demand is something you won't understand until you have children of your own. But some day you'll understand that I need you every bit as much as you need me. You are the world to me, and without your cries, your smiles and laughs...my life would be empty.

There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. I only hope that I'm able to be the type of mother you deserve. I promise I will give you all that I have. Your happiness is the greatest reward, and I couldn't ask for anything more.
I love you, baby boy.